Weight Loss(Inside My Heart)

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on January 7, 2011 by V-Leno

I wrote this Sunday night: January 1st

Why should I feel discouraged?

Why should the shadows come?

Why should my heart feel lonely and loan for heaven and home?

When Jesus is my portion

A constant friend is he

His Eye is on the sparrow

And I know He watches over me

HIS eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches over me

I sing, because I’m happy I sing because I’m free…(LOVE this song)


Feeling down and out squeezed like a bug, as discouraged as a slug fighting dehydration and death by salt, down and out like a lions prey, all feelings I felt until I realized my eyes were not focused in clear view. Somehow, some way during my writings, my recordings of my journey of Weight loss I strayed. It’s like my tour guide was guiding me but, I closed my eyes not realizing I was steel being led, that still small voice encouraged me out of my bed. This morning this Sunday morning, second day of the New Year I got up with prayer on my heart no hesitation. I woke up and began to pray “Lord in all this help me not to lose sight of you.” Tricks of my enemy would make it to seem like these two weeks of drought and feelings of emptiness where my reality when truly and indeed they were not. All these horrible feeling stemmed from guilt and tears from past relationships,…

From a love I feel I lost,

 The truth is in all that I gained true LOVE,

Forever LOVE.

What is this love?

This LOVE is patient it is kind,

 it does not brag nor boast,

it is real it is GOD and this love loves me in and out of time.

So this love, my past love, I had to drop,

The weight of him lay heavily on my soul,

 I begged I pleaded God I love him

 YOU I love more

 This weight that seemingly pains my heart

please take it away

 These tears I have cried for 2 years, please deliver my cheeks

 The flood that pours from my eyes, when I realize my past love still lies in me

 I realize my REAL LOVE carries me

 YOU hold me up, so help me stand on your word

 Help me have faith; please ease this burden

For years no matter the lack of communication it has weighed me down

 Many times I have tried to let go

Lord help me show, help me grow

This weight I have to lose, not for lack of LOVE but because YOU first loved me.

My Weight was lust which turned into LOVE I had to stop what I was doing but, I did not realize physically I had let go but emotionally my fingers just would not let go..YOU Love YOU Let go so one can grow.

My MOTIVATION TO Get up and workout this morning …

But WHY “V” ?just read

John 16:33

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have PEACE. In this world you will have trouble. But take HEART I have OVERCOME the WORLD.

Thank you GOD J



4 a.m. Workout Tomorrow

1 mile run hopeful speed of 7:15 (we will see)

10 sets of 10 slider sets

20 pushups 10 pull ups x3 times


Weight Loss (Pain inside DROP THEM)

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on January 4, 2011 by V-Leno

Be Un-conqurable

How did this Happen (Written on January 1st) –I wrote twice this day. This was before church

This is the question I ask in regards to about two things in my life. Well, the first is this very Journey of weight loss. I ask, “How did this happen?” In regards to regression in my life as a whole. I will explain further into the reading.. One thing many people don’t really know is that I am sensitive about my WEIGHT.  Yes hypothetically speaking, my “WEIGHTS” and literally my WEIGHT. As in the 146 that I hope I am… “Why do I say hope?,” Well let me explain, the FEAR.  “Gulp..ughhh,” This FEAR holds me back like an anvil trying to bring me down to the deepest oceans of the sea! What fear is this? It is the present fear of what I just explained…The FEAR of WHAT IF I REGRESS, FALL BACK, well the truth of the matter is that I believe I have. One Day last week around the 26 or 27 of December my heart ached, of failure and confusion. For 2 weeks of the Christmas and Holiday session I struggled with detaching myself from my writings and my work. (My work being encouraging others, getting out this message through my JOURNEY OF WIEGHT LOSS) In all of this I slipped in my bible readings, my prime time with God. Seemingly my mix off hot coco, which is so necessary on a cold winter day was gone. I had nothing to warm my soul, or fill my cup. I felt as if my car was on E and the only thing holding me was fumes. “You know, the fumes of gasoline that push your car until it just stops.” “Yes,” it’s those fumes. Now you see this analogy of my MOTIVATION is true indeed. These past few weeks I even struggled with getting up at 4 a.m. every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday… Deemed Failure, added “Weight” Hypothetically speaking and literally where creeping up on me. I had no sword, half my armor was gone. Weird how through all this I understand why GOD’s words of inspiration, HIS breath of life the sweet BIBLE says, to have o the full armor of GOD.. My breast plate of righteousness, my shield of faith, my helmet of salvation, belt of truth, and my sword of the spirit, things so crucial to me in my journey of WEIGHT loss, without this you would be reading a journey of me LOST, and all the horrible weights I drop and encourage you to drop would be meaningless. It would fall into a pit of overwhelming nothing-ness becoming lost in the weight! But this is WEIGHT LOSS so I must relinquish these things, these weights, these burdens to ME. Those real serious weights that have helped me gain this physical weight like; lust and not love, abortion and drugs, failed marriages, depression, fear , anger and anxiety none of these weights you nor I N. E. E. D., Please drop them with me. These two weeks I feel fallen but the JOY of my LIFE thank GOD was once again realized.  At dusk I was down to an unimaginable low..I mean a bad place, but at dawn I awoke saying my prayers with JOY in my HEART!! HE TOLD ME THE TRUTH YOU CAN MAKE ITS LOVE…Stay in my Word. There your encouragement lays…SO I HAVE REALIZED over and over again.

My Weight were my passions

My need to feel him

 In all this HE (God) was looking down on me

 Constantly loving me

 GET up..HE said you are redeemed.

See your body is your Temple

Do you not know that your body is your temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you received from GOD? You are not your own 1 Corinthians 6:19

And through all this HE still loved ME

I still loved the man but the one for me will understand

Big sigh… Big weight


HARD Days will Come.. But you CAN MAKE IT- Drop that WEIGHT!

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on January 1, 2011 by V-Leno

Be- Unconqurable

It was Monday December 27, I decided to dream. Dream for what you dream, what you see, that can and will be your reality.  


Written on December 27, 2010, “Yes I did not publish this for 4 days”, why, “I had to build up the confidence.” Please BE ENCOURAGED

I decided to D.R.E.A.M. today

I decided NOT to be ashamed today,

I decided to show myself to the world all the way

I realized that I am not the perfect trainer or person

I realized something though, I serve a perfect God

I realized that I am truly fearfully and wonderfully made

I saw myself admitting to you my embarrassment and shame

I see myself now realizing that what satan meant for my shame GOD is using for His Glory

I understand that I am flawed, but in this process of weight loss in order to FINISH, You have got to BEGIN

So HERE I Begin,

 53 days and every Day I begin

Each step fresh and brand new,

Please realize that in life, not just weight loss, every step is different

Today’s step may lead to success, but what is success without understanding the rest

Seeing the complete picture of me

Poured and fixed up indeed

Head did hang low my weights where stifling

But I looked up like those strong Roman soldiers did;

 I took off my helmet to get a clear view

Threw down my shield with confidence looking the shame of my years in the face


 Weight I am no longer carrying YOU!

You See, I don’t think you see, OPEN YOUR EYES,

I’m Flying, I am Free

His yoke is EASY, That’s what He told me

His burdens are light, a promise He KEEPS




This is poem that came out while I was attempting to let you in on something that I see as a shame of my past. The years that I thank God, did not last. Yes weight that is stored up, both physically seen and mentally. As I woke up this morning to my alarm buzzing o so sweetly in my ear as it usually does around 4:00 a.m. I felt like a conqueror. So much so that I even posted “4 a.m. workout LET’S GO,” This is what I usually post. But something bad happened, something unexpected, or shall I say un-characteristic of my Journey of weight loss. What happened, you may ask… Well, Okay.

Okay… I slowly rolled back into my comfy bed and fell asleep. I woke back up at 4:45 and this was a conscious effort. I said “Okay, Veronica just go to sleep until 4:45 and you can go to them gym when you get up.” You may think to yourself that’s okay, but I was not pleased with myself. I was mad and wanted to say just forget it, I have messed up, broken my discipline, and let not only myself down but YOU down.  Never the less I did go to the gym and run my mile. The time was 7:21. This was unsatisfactory to me, I didn’t think it was good enough because I stopped 3 times, once to tie my shoe, and the last for no reason at all. Maybe it was pure boredom. If you cannot already gather, I deemed this morning as a letdown. I was disappointed in myself all around.  I looked at the workout as a fail, but then something happened. The question “What is Victory without Defeat,” then I asked myself “Veronica, who says you can’t just try it again?” I just began to encourage myself. “So what, you had a crummy workout, you woke up late, guess what you can fix that, just try again.” You know in life people look at failure, as a bad thing but my “failure” taught me a life lesson today, HELLO in LIFE VERONICA YOU MAY JUST FAIL..But WHAT WILL YOU DO AFTER… THAT DEFINES you. The thing about failure is it is embarrassing to admit but admission of wrongs and understanding that Gods love is all encompassing, meaning he loves you in and out of time, meaning the sun and earth may fade but he still loves you, so much so he sent his son to die for you. Now, you see failure, shame and embarrassment, they last only for a short while, that is if you realize what you have done and God has forgiven you. I am only saying this because this morning was a fail to me but the only thing that gives me the COURAGE to make it right is GOD. He motivates me and I realize Okay, I messed up, but I have an option to GET UP. His hand is stretched out

I am a perfect imperfection

I have sinned, I have done wrong, but these WEIGHTS HAVE GOT TO COME OUT OF ME

THIS is my encouragement to tell you this

2 Corinthians 12:9

  • But he said to me,
    “My grace is sufficient for you,
    for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
    Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses,
    so that the power of Christ may rest upon me

    2 Corinthians 12:

Weight Loss (YOu HAVE got to KEEP PUSHING!!)

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on December 22, 2010 by V-Leno


Be- Unconqurable

This is Weight Loss (Don’t give UP)

 I believe these deep seeded weights that I’m dropping, yes they are more than physical weights, I believe they would just fade forward into a meaningless existence without my Lord and savior Jesus Christ. This is what I mean, just read, he actually has rescued me.


                                                                                                         Psalms 40: 1-4

1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
   he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
   out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
   and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
   a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the LORD
   and put their trust in him.

4 Blessed is the one
   who trusts in the LORD,
who does not look to the proud,
   to those who turn aside to false gods.

THIS WAS Written on December 20, 2010

All too often and all too many times in weight loss it seems giving up hangs bitter sweetly over the head of every would be achiever. Having this feeling is not unnatural; in fact I would say it is indeed not so bad. You just have to realize that getting to your goal, this one being weight loss takes discipline. Discipline is so very crucial. What goal can you attain by saying I want to do something and actually never implementing a plan to get you at least moving towards that direction? This is the question I ask myself.

I remember a much resent time in my life where my existence was a colorless one. I would adorn more black clothing, and actually currently have a black silk covering over my bed. Yes, such a color less existence. I find myself wondering, why the dark colors? Why so many blacks being stacked up on my back and adorned as my articles of clothing? You know what the most interesting thing about this process of weight loss is, that those faded blacks seem so drab and meaningless, too much does their presence just seem a symbolism of death, defeat and depression. These colors now prove to be impossible to even be around. In fact I walked into my room and screamed out loud, very loud, “I need new SHEETs, then letting out the ooohh so expected, “grrrrhhhh.” The colors I now wish to adorn my room describe me currently, and how my God views me. Colors of royalty you see, He says I am joint heir with CHRIST, so I must replace those dreaded blacks with royal purples and lavous gold’s, sprinkled with clouds of white, angelic reflections all around. . . You see I thank God the rest of this story came out so POET so this is how I must present it to you. 

I thank God for these weights that have truly literally become drugged out of me,

So I say, so I scream, “OUT of ME, get back,”

 “Don’t ever come back weights”

You situations you burdens you very well-tried to en slave me,

Entangle me,

Make me to feel as “o” so nothing, nothing,

Nothing, not even a little bit of something,

Weights be it added adipose tissue,

Weights of guilt, over eating,

Hands tied, you attempted to tie me down weight,

O weight you are no friend or foe,

No kin to me,

Just something that for some reason I carried,

But guess, no I said guess,

Realize you never had anything on me just what I allowed,

Thank God I decided to get up,

Lift up, stand up, and step up

Take the strides down the road of victory that God had already placed for me.

This is weight loss or shall I say a relinquishing of you.

Mirror images, please, just imagine beautiful images of me free.

So I will continue to drop this weight both physically and mentally,

I will continue to pour my past weights on this page

Deep seeded issues and pains whatever it takes

This is real weight loss

Though at first I was ashamed I must maintain my stands

A bigger picture is at hand.

Open the frame, drop that weight.

I’m dropping mine in JESUS NAME!



Be STRONG this is Weight loss!

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on December 14, 2010 by V-Leno

Be Un-conqurable

Weight Loss is worth it.

Take it one day at a time, one step towards victory. Nothing is wrong with feeling down or discouraged this happens sometimes, but you cannot stay down, it’s time for you to GET up and LOOK UP. Think about it, there is nothing for you down there but mud and dust. Look up. Did you forget that after every storm there is always a rainbow, but, you will never see it focusing on the storm?

Reflection of last week (December 7-11, 2010)

 I learned a lesson this week about having tough skin. In weight loss not everyone will compliment you or like what you are doing, nor recognize it, but you must have tough skin. My mother told me that.

*The below took 4 days to place on this page.* (Please just continue reading)

There will be hard times but I know that I can make it; this is what I constantly have to tell myself. “Write down what you feel veronica, write down what’s real, (I have to repeat this).” So this is what I must do. I think to myself, “I am tired of speaking of times when I feel discouraged, but every human is discouraged, without writing down these moments, those great moments of encouragement may also not become recorded.” So I must let you in. I must let you into every feeling, every joy and every pain.  Trust me there has been much pain, excruciating pain. The pain of my alarm clock buzzing in my ear loud and ever so clear. Saying its 4 a.m. your workout time is here,” while I mumble an “ehhh” one eye wide shut. Then there is the deep seeded pain in the form of events that are being purged out of me, and the most constant pain from fear, the fear of writing down every single weight being dropped literally from under me. This friend is a very real account of weight loss, not what you see on TV.  This is not just visual, but real weight loss, inside and out.  These are real burdens, things I never should have carried, things I never should have held on to. My strength lay perfectly and peacefully in the Lord. I am set free from all these painful memories. Deep down inside they subconsciously helped me to gain this weight and now I drop this weight and replace it with LOVE, REAL LOVE.” God loved me so much that he created a way out for me and placed it in plain sight. I allowed the weights of this world to blur my view. These weights just stack up like bricks, deep down inside of me. I have been ravished by situations from my past, taken advantage of, misused and had my very breath seemingly ripped from me, seemingly stolen with no regard or even knowledge of the fact. But there LOVE stood, real LOVE, there God stood hands out wide saying, “I am here for you, drop it by the side.” So many times I would look back on this weight and act as if I never carried it, never birthed it. Then I asked this question to myself, “How will you ever drop your weight if you never see it, if you never admit to its reality of being present?” “A problem or weight, hurt or pain, sickness, depression, loneliness and rape even, if never admitted existence can never be fixed.”  So admission of mine is a problem fixed.  Yes a violation of any kind is hard, a taking away a ripping of my flesh and skin, a disrespect of me, the worst to have been experienced you see. This was my special possession the innards of me, but inside of me lies strength from all of this.  I have been healed. I have been renewed and revived.  I had to drop this weight by the side.  Ironically, I have attempted to resist dropping this weight physically on this page.  I was so embarrassed to ever have gone through this. But as I write this I remembered who the source of my strength and confidence lie. As difficult as it to write this I have hope. I write knowing someone will be encouraged to get up and drop this weight today. I am dropping weight, unexpected weight, but this is weight loss in the most necessary places. This is weight lost inside of me.  I continually remember that weight; you are not and have never been a reflection of me. Christ’s his love is all-encompassing and in him I am made new. In him I AM STRONG.

                                                                                       My Motivation:

                                                         But WHY “V”?? This is what inspires me

                                                                                        Isaiah 40:28-31

28 Do you not know?
   Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
   the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
   and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
   and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
   and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint.


Weight- You are not a REFLECTION of ME

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on December 7, 2010 by V-Leno

Be Un-Conqurable


Reflection of me (Weight Loss)

I would look inside of the mirror and think

 This weight gained was a reflection of me

 Then I got tired of carrying it ,looked up to GOD and said,

 “WEIGHT you will no longer be a reflection of me,

 You were never meant to be!”

 I am independent of you.

You see, with me personally

This weight gained reflected situations of pain that I held on to.

 I have no idea why I held my grip so tight.

 All I had to do was let go and let God.

But you see that realization came in time.

This realization that weight, you and I were never meant to be

And you are not a reflection of ME!

I grant you no definition

But through my reflection I understand you are there

The only option is to drop you

I wish to no longer stare

You see, WEIGHT, God said every burden he will bare

So to God I go, as I drop you off

Physically, spiritually and emotionally so

You are worth no bon voyage, not even a piece

Because I am dropping you

Fully and complete

You see, look in the mirror and know

Weight you were never meant to be, a reflection of me

In my blood there boils a conquer and that is it!

In my blood boils true love,

I am able to forgive past memories

 With you I part ways through faith, praying we never meet again

But if we do, one thing will remain true

You and I where never meant to be

Weight you are not a reflection of me!

 I want to speak to all those who read this, I pray you are encouraged.  Be inspired and know that weight loss is not so hard, just get up and take that step day by day. I wake up at 4 a.m. to work out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I physically pick one foot up and then the other. Step by step I take this JOURNEY OF WEIGHT LOSS, Physically and emotionally. Drop that weight step by step. You can do it, you already have victory!  Those who gained weight because of depression, rape, abuse, broken relationships,  broken heartedness, loss of a love, divorce, situations out of your control, business and any other complexity in which the result was weight gain, in all these situations know that there is still hope, You can make it! You just have to get up and drop that weight! Know that you are not alone in this! You can do it! ….  Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. Psalms 55:22

(Please just continue reading)

Drop that weight

My hope in this journey, my helper in this process is God. You may find it interesting but this particular note has been written 3 times prior due to fear, but I was encouraged to no longer be afraid. What was this fear that gripped me you may ask? This was the fear of being so open, being so transparent. In life it seems people want to come off as perfect but not I. I wonder, for people who are going through the toughest of times, how does not sharing your once weights/struggles help them? In this journey my specific weights will be made know, this the most terrifying part.  This was a realization I came to 2 days ago, causing me to drop my pencil and think. This thought was so deep, I said it out loud, “Oh God this weight loss means more than I think, and it is getting pretty deep.” It is as if every past issue is being drudged out of me, and so I spoke out loud to myself “ Okay, God what is this going to be God?” “It would just happen to be when I am sharing this with the world that everything comes out.” (And then I smile)  I soon realized this is not a bad thing at all. I understand there will be some who do not agree but, I must say, this is my true and current account of weight loss inside of me and externally.

On Saturday (Date December 4, 2010) while attempting to write this the weights of visions from my childhood began to surface. This was not a bad thing at all, just a bit unexpected, if you will allow me to be ever so real and share this with you. I share this not for pity in the least bit, but because I’m dropping this weight … so you may be encouraged to drop your weight also.

My childhood was great,

Most things we were afforded

But things I remember most have never completely become voided

Visions of anger and hurt, seen through a young Childs eyes

Years and years of seeing hurt and pain inflicted on a flower

This flower I loved the most

 Getting down on my knees was my remedy

Have faith, “Dear God, don’t let these things affect me”

Some weights unknowingly where carried from the things seen

Sincere apologies to those of whom my baggage landed

The thing about this weight loss is, those situations have been handed

My burdens of yells and screams feet shaking to the ground

My burdens are all HIS now

By his I mean God,

He told me he would take them

 In this process of weight loss indeed he does collect

 Sitting and Saying I was waiting for you

  Physical and Emotional COMPLETE WEIGHT LOSS!

                     Drop that weight!

PHYSICAL WEIGHT = 6 pounds lost


In the book of life it says: 1 Peter 5:7 (King James Version)

 7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

But why V??: This is my motivation, my inspiration, my hope, my joy, my peace, my strength, my everything!!

Real Weight loss!!

I cast all my cares upon him because he loves me.

4:00 a.m. Workout

5 minute warm-up

Ran a mile time 7:25!!! Yeah

Completed two 2 minutes sprints

20 push-ups

5 pull-ups

20 push-ups

5 pull-ups

20 push –ups

5 pull-ups

Then I completed the late pull down 3 sets of 16 and the chest fly 3 sets of 16.

Let’s Go Drop that weight!

Weight Loss(Inside of Me)

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on December 3, 2010 by V-Leno


Be Un-Conqurable


                                                       Dropping Weight


It was DEC.1, 2010

I was anxious to post this but all my anxiety left when I had a conversation with my brother on the phone, he said to me, “I am anxious” and I said, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. -Philippians 4:6-“, so now I have the courage to send you this without any anxiety….  I hope you will BE MOVED, BE ENCOURAGED, and BE BLESSED!


4: OO a.m. – Early morning workout. Yes I had to drag myself out of bed thinking “come on Veronica you can do it! Be an example.”…..What??? (I sometimes just say what) “Oh God help me” I am tired!!… But indeed I was able to get up. I walked to the gym slightly stumbling, but I made it!  That one STEP out of my bed turned into another and another and then the completion of my workout. So with this I encourage you to complete your WORKOUT. DROP THAT weight… not just the physical WEIGHT. Drop all the issues, hurts and complexities that caused you to gain it in the first place! Don’t think it is that deep? Just think about why you gained it. Weight gained has an origin…What is it that happened, what lead to a lack of motivation, and lethargy …WHY DID YOU GAIN that weight?Why did I? Though you may look at me and say no way, I will look at you with a straight face and say I gained it! The scales do NOT lie; now, it’s time to DROP IT!!! DROP THAT WEIGHT

STATISTICS: Starting Weight: 156

READ THE POEM TO see how much WEIGHT has been dropped (these weights INSIDE OF ME)

Inside of ME

Inside of ME lies potential to BE


                Inside of ME are memories… like you I have been through so MUCH

But, my extremities do not show you THIS

Inside of Me lays weights

Too long they have weighed heavy

But, Inside of ME is a CONQUEROR; “I am that I am” abides in me

You see the INSIDE of ME rests a stamp that says

 “You are fearfully and wonderfully made”

INSIDE OF ME lies past memories

Old WEIGHTS shut, and hushed quite

But these weights once lost will be a part of my Marvelous testimony

So INSIDE OF ME I must drop this weight

This is number one priority

But the thing about it is I already have victory

So when I even think of this process of weight loss

And the spirit INSIDE OF ME

I know, I will OVERCOME all, seen and unseen

INSIDE OF ME the past hurts and burdens just seem like nothing

Especially when I mention HIS SON

OOOhhh….. My sweet savior

I can make it



INSIDE OF ME by: Veronica Leno

Thank you God

Statistics: Today’s Weight: 152   THAT’S 4 LBS gone!! LETS GO!



Why do you make references to Christ V??? STOP:

Answer: I am a motivator of people but Christ motivates me to even breath so please just understand that this is my personal journey and the point behind it all is to motivate the masses. This is what motivates me. Positive and encouraging.