Archive for the The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process Category

My Confessions

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on June 16, 2011 by V-Leno

My Confessions

Be Unconquerable

THESE are my confessions

I want to change and help so many people but, if my house is not in order like a landslide my bricks will fall. If I can’t step and land, If all around me I seem to build up my own fortress of quick sand, than how… o how can I ever seem to land? ..How can I propel with no bouncy? How can I excel with no structure, no written documentation of my vision, from cleaning my room in the morning to saying my prayers.I can’t excel, if I don’t do these things well.. well you may question me.  Let’s sit down and take a look, you see, let’s come to realize that in life the little things paint your picture. The little things allow your Mona Lisa to become complete. The remedy in all this resides in my decisions.  So fed up, tired of being stuck up in my mess.  The riots in my head paint dramatic scenes but no cinema, no movies will ever been seen, no elegant kiss of how vision becomes bliss and spreads like rapid wild fires. If I can’t ever seem to get down on my knees to get my house in order..You see because from my house spews so much ..from my house I reside, and inside me resides a visions to help inspire uplift and motivate but it seems true that if I can’t help me and get my house in order than the question is who can I help?..With the stairs to my drive way cracking and the bricks in my mortar looking morbid, corrosion eating away at the steps of my dreams.  These visions to change the nation will be mere visions, mere illusions if I don’t seek you earnestly acting in faith, retaining my discipline thanking you for my victory in advance and making this forward steps to excel. You have called me to excel.  For the plans you have for me read nothing, nothing but victory. This old house I will clean. Those stumbling blocks on my porch… you are now my stepping stones! I must confess dropping these weights admitting I am still irresponsible with my ways was hard but, this is REAL.I am not growing up unless I show up and admit this to you!  THESE ARE MY



To all my stumbling stones I thought I would let you know.. “I am getting my house in order and you are now my stepping stones!”

Why because “I can do all thing through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13.

A word from “V”- I have been on this journey for over 220 days. One thing I have realized is this is more than I bargained for, but in everything that is worth something you must but up a fight. Put your gloves on its time to get in the ring and fight, fight, fight until that last and final round. Though there are things about my body that still need fix’ING giving up sure wont FIX’EM!




The “Unexpected” Sequel .. AND STILL I STAND

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on May 5, 2011 by V-Leno

Be Unconquerable

Post Date: May 4, 2011

This the ” unexcpected” Sequel..and STILL I STAND

Rolling down like the hills over the past few months has been the placement of my pain. Written of time and time again but only this time fear kept my expressions from being made, while the frustrations in my mind baffled me. Literally keeping me from finding thought and seeking solution, this funk…Like a skunk it smell stunk..Its putrid smell creeped into the nostrils of my heart in the crevasses of my coronary arteries, my passions seemed so crippled and my vision seemed to be fading, fading, fading in and out. Fading like the exhausted jabs of a boxer before..Ding ding ding… 1 , 2, 3, count you have just been knocked out. Only like the victorious one (the boxer that won!)  I mumbled, I stumbled around the ring hypothetically with my lip being bloodied and my eye being black….I stood there, there I stood to take a deep breath in, then another breath out…hhhhhh. Sweat tricking down sensations senses being sensed depression knocking at my door like bill collectors. Broken hearted, broken spirit just strait up broken numbness to the point of beyond any internal feeling, so badly damaged, depression and despair ravished my soul. Like the boxer in the ring, literally eyes gazed over saying “Lord, just help me stand.” This, the only thing left to do, seeing as how pain was inevitable the only thing was to except my pain, take the punches …and as 1 came then 2 came..Like the smart boxer watching my opponents tendencies resting my mind body and soul, falling to my knees asking for deliverance, pleading for restoration of my mind..Renewing of my soul. The proposition to God my father I made and like that my perspective changed. Life a new blew through the valleys of my mind, and like the boxer in the ring my vision renewed. While blood dripping from my brown I realized in my stands, in my desire to stay standing to stay on my feet no matter what blow may be…I realized, I just had to hold on ..Standing, standing, standing…I cocked back at my opponent, and my “goliath” fails down. How, I do not know  …see my eyes were closed and my own sight was no longer what I leaned on but HIS.  I just know like the victor like the boxer in the ring, like a tree deeply planted into the word of God…HERE I AM..STILL STANDING!

Galatians 6:9 

9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Sometimes in life or any process of weight loss we hit a stomp..We hit a valley. But I encourage every human being trying to lose weight (and lets realize this is not just physical) to hold on through your trails and smile during your tribulations. Your pain will not last forever it won’t ever last long. But the thing about pain is that it has a best friend named victory! So don’t be discouraged and don’t give up…be like the little engine that could..Be like the little engine that would. This is what I have to tell myself after being on my journey of REAL WEIGHT LOSS for 180 days. I am so ready to stop, ready to see my body change, ready to reach my goals physically..But sometimes it seems in this process I am my own worst enemy. So until I get this right, until I drop this weight, until the vision of REAL WEIGHT LOSS has become complete I will continue with PERSEVERANCE it is what carries me.

Today’s weight: 144                 Goal: 137


Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on March 24, 2011 by V-Leno

Be Un-Conqurable


Written time and time again: final draft March 23, 2011

I have been carried for 136 DAYS and counting and I AM STILL STANDING!

Despair was my best friend; happiness seemed to be my enemy. My story of trail and triumph had hit a screeching halt. My faith was tested. My heart was weary, and my body felt faint. In all this HE kept me, and keeps me still. When I think and try to explain this past three weeks there is no imaginable word I can think to place on it, no possible silhouette to outline the mess in which I was in. But you know what , I can say, “ I AM STILL STANDING.” My sanity has been tested; yes I have been broken down beyond depression into a state of numbness and confusion. Allusion, tears, and anything that has to do with not having a single clue tied me down almost destroying me…but, I AM STILL STANDING. First my car broke on me, and then I realized my lack of responsibility engulfed me leaving me with unpaid speeding tickets and an invalid id. Not to mention the enemy like a lion chastised me day and night, in and out, but I am here and I am saying…I hope you see…I AM STILL STANDING. I AM STILL STANDING though my legs wanted to buckle beneath me while my world seemed to be in a whirlwind..HERE I STILL STAND.. in all this I WILL PRAISE YOU. If I must go through the storm, the trials and tribulations if I am going through this with you LORD then I AM GOING THROUGH IT…. Meaning the hole my enemies conspire to dig for me even the hole I have dug for myself, Well Lord you see and have seen my hole and YOU said “This is nothing but a tunnel”  You said and say, STAND UP! So here I am still standing though while in the fiery furnace I cried, you saw me and cared an I AM and I AM STILL STANDING. You drug me out like a soldier in the trenches of war and peril. My fox hole was closing in, but you saw my tunnel and spoke to the walls those walls. Walls of my own stupidity, immaturity, and irresponsibility, you saw but still you cared for me. You carried me out! Now I say thank you LORD I AM STILL STANDING!


Real weight loss goes beyond physical weight, beyond mere vanity. In this process of weight loss I have realized a testimony is being developed and a story is being written. When you go do the gym for whatever fitness goal you may have, however hard you work at attaining that goal realize in life we must do the same. There is a connection to it all and the author of that connection is God. Realize in your process of weight loss more than physical weight will be lifted. Those issues of life stand waiting also to be dropped. The question is WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH YOUR WEIGHT…?


Even when growing up producing growing pains and the rain comes in a storm


Motivation Please:

1 Corinthians 13:11 (King James Version)

 11When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.



Lemons out of lemonade

Running to the gym! Back pack…Check….shoes…..check….FAITH YES SIR!

Morning Sprints (Good for burning fat- anaerobic exercise)

7 sprints 10.5 speed increments

Pushups 15

Pull ups 5

Repeat push up pull up 3 times

2 mile BACK PACK….back….check…REAL WEIGHT LOSS….A MUST!

35 minute cross-fit workout @ Flex studios 😉

Walk/ run back home

Through the Fire #REAL WEIGHT LOSS

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on February 18, 2011 by V-Leno

DATE: February 16, 2011

I will begin with a scripture. I have been through the Fire.

Psalm 40:2-4 (New International Version, ©2010)

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
   out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
   and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
   a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the LORD
   and put their trust in him.

4 Blessed is the one
   who trusts in the LORD,
who does not look to the proud,
   to those who turn aside to false gods.[a]

PLEASE CONTINUE READING (written about February 7, 2011)

DATE: February 16, 2011


What do you do when your back is against the wall, when each literal breath is a gasp or quenching for air, your pockets seem to squeeze you tight but, I said but, please do understand that is indeed when you know your break through is coming…And no, it will not simply be any particular break through. I wonder do you think in weight loss the road is rough to tickle your fancy. Do you not realize that in these moments the deepest darkest moments when, let me just say, I am tired, my hope is splitting at the seam, mashed like squished peas but please believe I FEEL and I REALIZE that I WILL RISE. These weights of impossibilities taunt me. As a strong warrior the Cherokee blood that rises and boils deep down inside of me, that slave ancestry that made it through the shackles and oppression, that made it through, they lifted every weight. The same God that moved them and somehow pulled them through, I feel HIM pulling me through. I know I WILL RISE. Like the stars so elevated no limit to infinity you see this is where the dreams aspirations and goals that he has given me will RISE. These weights that at the moment arrest my pocket book, they are nothing but a test. At your most uncomfortable moments in your process of weight loss I ask you where you will stand.  I will RISE, that is the only option for me. Why do I say this?  Let me explain, tonight my hope like the retched cold that causes my fingers pain, this cold blows on me….but it is what you do, it is what I do in these moments that determine the journey. In my journey my choice is to RISE. I WILL RISE. Your choice is your own but, understand to allow any weights to continually inhibit your footsteps on your journey inhibit your path.  In that moment your journey has ended. RISE, like that mythical creature of imagination rise like the phoenix. Blaze your trail. I WILL and SHALL RISE to blaze mine. Nights like this, when I turn to the right, depression and defeat meet me and to the left stands victory with only GOD’S help, with only His help I will chose to RISE, I will RISE. ..

Be UnConqurable



MY Workout

4:00 a.m.

2 mile Run

This is a workout that I did the same day I named it VICTORY. Done later on around 2:00

 20 Box jumps

 16 Incline pushup

20 split jumps on box

16 Decline pushups

20 Squats with overhead press

I repeated 3 times

Time: 24 minutes

Let’s Go Drop that weight


My Journey (Strength Inside)!!

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on January 22, 2011 by V-Leno

Be Un-conqurable

A reflection of my condition (Sunday Jan. 17, 2010)

Tonight I thank God, I spoke with my mom and she gave some encouraging words. This past Sunday I felt like all my anxiety and worrying collided like two football players on a football field. Mountains of worry grew, to my surprise, until like a volcano they seemed to explode and surface. The face of this volcano was rather interesting… I realize what the problem was…or shall I say where the problem lay festering. Like the mix of bubbling soup, the problem lay festering in my soul. Resent letters, you know those scary letters, those reminders of college loans and shopping sprees. Those friendly reminders of “You are now an educated woman, pay me please… “Yes those things, those retched things. I have never worried before, but like never before my worrying sunk me. It sunk me like the titanic that day, but in me I did not realize, or rather I realized but did not see.  It was like I was in a steamy restroom unable to see my reflection do to the heat and fog from hot vapor; all I had to do was open the door.  There stood a solution to my steamed filled room and haze filled mind. I wonder now, “did it have to do with the gloominess of the previous days, or the gloominess of my present ways?” ways of lost trust and forgotten hope possibly?   The combination of these two words brought me down like raging winds. They howled and beat me, and then I realized, in this storm, I realized …I WAS ALIVE… These weights of anxiety had my hands bound, literally strapped me to the table as if I was being executed like a 17th century thief. For a while they ensnared me, but the heart of a lion resides deep down inside of me. In all this mess one thing I realized was that I was on my knees…  When I realized that, I realized I was ALIVE…There is no better place to be for me than on my knees…Understand that If I am down there, regardless of the situation, I am praying to a God that says he will rescue me…I am praying to a God that says I am your ever present help in the time of need…I am praying to a God that says seek my face earnestly and surely I shall rescues the..I am praying to a GOD that says little child rely in me. I am praying to a God that calls me and sees me as joint heir with Christ and will always meet me at my need.

ON MY KNEES I remembered THIS…

James 1:2-4 (New International Version)

Trials and Temptations

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

 And like that… I rose. Like Dr. King’s I have a dream speech moved millions, my vision was restored, and I was moved by the millions. The one who created Dr. King created me and engulfed, enveloped that same potential to be, as Dr. King… All this he has placed in me, I just had to realize it. There is nothing wrong with being down and depressed, ravished beaten, and broken down to your knees…

Why?.. When you are down there, or when I am, I am praying my weapon is being utilized and God tells me there is power in prayer. Like the power seen from Jesus praying to the Father in Gethsemane.  I go bowing down to my knees happy or sad.  When I lose hope, when I feel weak and my knees begin to buck , I cry out and I know in all this God you have a plan for me.. When I am being broken down my frame work is being built up with your cornerstone. The heavier the weight the stronger I get, the longer the road traveled the further down the road of REAL Weight LOSS I GO!!

  My WORKOUT on January 18, 2010

Ran 2 miles

5 sets of 20 push-ups

5 sets of 20 rows

(LIGHT day) Disciplined workouts to come

On Tuesday January 19, 2010

Went to Flex and did CROSSFIT- I LOVE IT

During this workout I got tired, my body faded in and out. I wanted to quit I held firm. I looked up, dug deep and transformed. Nothing and no one was going to stop Me.! I remembered “I can do all things through Christ who strengthened ME! I applied that verse and heaved those weights. I beasted them, from right to left, from front to back, I moved them! With all imaginable intensity, I visualized no impossibility …and I GOT IT DONE!!!


50 pull ups that day

Front squats weight = heavy

Box jumps

And Insanity which equals MORE FUN FOR ME…!!




Help in THIS Process of Weight LOSS

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on January 15, 2011 by V-Leno

Be Un-conqurable

My personal prayer for Help with these WEIGHTS

“I am His and He is mine, It does not matter what I did”

Dear God…I love you,

Dear Lord thank YOU for being so awesome

I am a sinner I have failed you time and time again, so I wonder, actually I thank You,

You saved me, You kept me

So keep me, Help me to say what is on my heart

Anoint my hands and my mouth

Help me to help people

Lord I need to lose all these “weights”

But You are the only one I can give this to

This may seem simple, but this is my heart

 I want you,

Help me live for you,

I know you have a plan for me

Help me walk in it

But first help me drop these weights completely

Both physically and emotionally


I have Bondage but you have the KEY to these CHAINS these weights deep down inside of me

I have WEIGHT, but you have WEIGHT loss


Thank you FOR Saving ME.

Daily you save me. IF not this moment than the next,

In Short YOU SAVED me, I HURT You, You LOVED

I looked FOR you in all the wrong PLACES and YOU still managed to find me

Thank you GOD…

FOR this process of WEIGHT loss


My every breath, You fill me to the depths

Your LOVE loves me

No more weights, this affliction I can drop…



I have just been moved myself………..

My God has restored me

My motivation

Psalm 51:12 (New International Version, ©2010)

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
   and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.


Let me please just explain to you what has happened these past few weeks. I gained weight over the break, leaving me down and out. Discouragement eluded me but then I realized, I looked deep inside of me. I saw the situation clearly, simply struggling with “weights” in which I had lost, painstakingly subconsciously stacking them back up. Like a kid in a candy store whose mouth was already adorned with braces but wanting more candy, wanting more things that would cause me “dental surgery”, only this is “open heart” surgery. In my mind for 2-3 weeks weights of a past relationship depressed me internally, not extremely but never the less they prohibited me and inhibited real weight gain. No coincidence is it that I physically gained weight while emotionally I scooped up inside of me issues that teased me, fighting to go back to that past reality…

#Real weight Loss

Weight Loss(Inside My Heart)

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on January 7, 2011 by V-Leno

I wrote this Sunday night: January 1st

Why should I feel discouraged?

Why should the shadows come?

Why should my heart feel lonely and loan for heaven and home?

When Jesus is my portion

A constant friend is he

His Eye is on the sparrow

And I know He watches over me

HIS eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches over me

I sing, because I’m happy I sing because I’m free…(LOVE this song)


Feeling down and out squeezed like a bug, as discouraged as a slug fighting dehydration and death by salt, down and out like a lions prey, all feelings I felt until I realized my eyes were not focused in clear view. Somehow, some way during my writings, my recordings of my journey of Weight loss I strayed. It’s like my tour guide was guiding me but, I closed my eyes not realizing I was steel being led, that still small voice encouraged me out of my bed. This morning this Sunday morning, second day of the New Year I got up with prayer on my heart no hesitation. I woke up and began to pray “Lord in all this help me not to lose sight of you.” Tricks of my enemy would make it to seem like these two weeks of drought and feelings of emptiness where my reality when truly and indeed they were not. All these horrible feeling stemmed from guilt and tears from past relationships,…

From a love I feel I lost,

 The truth is in all that I gained true LOVE,

Forever LOVE.

What is this love?

This LOVE is patient it is kind,

 it does not brag nor boast,

it is real it is GOD and this love loves me in and out of time.

So this love, my past love, I had to drop,

The weight of him lay heavily on my soul,

 I begged I pleaded God I love him

 YOU I love more

 This weight that seemingly pains my heart

please take it away

 These tears I have cried for 2 years, please deliver my cheeks

 The flood that pours from my eyes, when I realize my past love still lies in me

 I realize my REAL LOVE carries me

 YOU hold me up, so help me stand on your word

 Help me have faith; please ease this burden

For years no matter the lack of communication it has weighed me down

 Many times I have tried to let go

Lord help me show, help me grow

This weight I have to lose, not for lack of LOVE but because YOU first loved me.

My Weight was lust which turned into LOVE I had to stop what I was doing but, I did not realize physically I had let go but emotionally my fingers just would not let go..YOU Love YOU Let go so one can grow.

My MOTIVATION TO Get up and workout this morning …

But WHY “V” ?just read

John 16:33

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have PEACE. In this world you will have trouble. But take HEART I have OVERCOME the WORLD.

Thank you GOD J



4 a.m. Workout Tomorrow

1 mile run hopeful speed of 7:15 (we will see)

10 sets of 10 slider sets

20 pushups 10 pull ups x3 times