My Letter of Intent

Posted in SCENE 1: FEAR with tags , , on October 27, 2011 by V-Leno

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I apologize for this mis-happening.. when the lines between what was and what is seemed to have been crossed up, you know. Kind of caught up by FEAR. See FEAR it grips you then it trips you. It holds you so tight till your sleep no longer wants sleep and your visions become imprisoned while your dreams fade into the background as mere insignificant memories never to be realized. Never to be realized that is if this F.E.A.R. strips you of the pure common sense God has given you…One thing I want you to realize is fear is not your friend and I have personally realized FEAR is not my friend. Like ice being cracked and poured into a cool crisp glass of water where my thoughts. As easily as one would drink from that glass on a hot summer day. Just as easily did my thoughts flow to the page mounted in my brain transferring my deepest hurts pains life lessons and frustrations unto this page. Some how some way some day it stopped. My hurt became to deep and my lessons to severe. At this moment when the encryptions encrypted in my brain read FEAR I simply screamed out loud but inside my mind “NO,” Then I said as I thought to myself, “ GOD just how really do you expect me to write?” Questions I asked because you see my internal foolery was foolery, just foolish. The FEAR that gripped me turned my pain and as if it anorexia distorted the reflection of my self.lt distorted the very reflection of me. So as if I had anorexia I believed the reflection my current internal reflection painted of me. See this painting tormented me an hung at every visual spot of my walls hypothetically speaking of course. Imagine closing your eye lids to see repetitive lessons that you should have learn been taught again because it seems that in your so called intelligence, some how it seems that you simply believed the foolery, the trickery the FEAR that pointed back at you. So I bowed my head so heavily that I resisted even restricted myself from stepping on the scale to realize what real. See my scale is a measurement of what I really way my true reality. The scale realizes how heavy my right foot is along with the density of my left. Unfortunatly this disease called FEAR distorted my view of me even convinced me that my scale was un- necessary to step on and the reality of me and my “weight” (my inability to learn my lesson) But I trusted I trusted my FEAR and the reflection I saw of me because it whispered trusting me is much better than the pain of your reality “So feel me FEAR ,” replied, ..so I said yes. Like any person with any disease or issue of distortion I realized that my reality needed me and I needed my reality without this how can I everbecome free. Then something inside of me rescued me. Ye though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil. For thy rod and thy staff does comfort me..He laith a table before me and my enemies..” “I am a child of the King of whom shall I be afraid.?” “My weights will become my testomies and my life lessons help to others going through this thing called growing up. At this point my testimony was revived. My heart began to palpitate. I got on the scale and realized in life we must know our weight not the illusions of how bad they are nor how big. One thing that is apparent one thing I have realized is that in life, yes I have been in more messes than I can count. Had no food, no car and no hope but if I continue to assume, If I continue to rely on the reflection placed in front of me and believe in the reflection of a disease which distorts and contorts my situation how will I ever be able to weigh true reality. So I stepped on the scale. And yes I will admit I had not gained as much weight as was reflected the scale told me this…and as in life my situations to be exact yes I have struggled and what you see from V2FITT comes from being broken than you would know but I have realized this Is what will make my marvelous testimony. Down but not out. Fearful no longer. When I am going through the storm you will know ..but you will also know most importantly my measure my FAITH. REAL WEIGHT

Christ is my scale and He holds my weight!

I DROP WEIGHTS

Follow THIS

My Confessions

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on June 16, 2011 by V-Leno

My Confessions

Be Unconquerable

THESE are my confessions

I want to change and help so many people but, if my house is not in order like a landslide my bricks will fall. If I can’t step and land, If all around me I seem to build up my own fortress of quick sand, than how… o how can I ever seem to land? ..How can I propel with no bouncy? How can I excel with no structure, no written documentation of my vision, from cleaning my room in the morning to saying my prayers.I can’t excel, if I don’t do these things well.. well you may question me.  Let’s sit down and take a look, you see, let’s come to realize that in life the little things paint your picture. The little things allow your Mona Lisa to become complete. The remedy in all this resides in my decisions.  So fed up, tired of being stuck up in my mess.  The riots in my head paint dramatic scenes but no cinema, no movies will ever been seen, no elegant kiss of how vision becomes bliss and spreads like rapid wild fires. If I can’t ever seem to get down on my knees to get my house in order..You see because from my house spews so much ..from my house I reside, and inside me resides a visions to help inspire uplift and motivate but it seems true that if I can’t help me and get my house in order than the question is who can I help?..With the stairs to my drive way cracking and the bricks in my mortar looking morbid, corrosion eating away at the steps of my dreams.  These visions to change the nation will be mere visions, mere illusions if I don’t seek you earnestly acting in faith, retaining my discipline thanking you for my victory in advance and making this forward steps to excel. You have called me to excel.  For the plans you have for me read nothing, nothing but victory. This old house I will clean. Those stumbling blocks on my porch… you are now my stepping stones! I must confess dropping these weights admitting I am still irresponsible with my ways was hard but, this is REAL.I am not growing up unless I show up and admit this to you!  THESE ARE MY

…MY CONFESSIONS

#REAL WEIGHT LOSS

To all my stumbling stones I thought I would let you know.. “I am getting my house in order and you are now my stepping stones!”

Why because “I can do all thing through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13.

A word from “V”- I have been on this journey for over 220 days. One thing I have realized is this is more than I bargained for, but in everything that is worth something you must but up a fight. Put your gloves on its time to get in the ring and fight, fight, fight until that last and final round. Though there are things about my body that still need fix’ING giving up sure wont FIX’EM!

 

 

The “Unexpected” Sequel .. AND STILL I STAND

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on May 5, 2011 by V-Leno

Be Unconquerable

Post Date: May 4, 2011

This the ” unexcpected” Sequel..and STILL I STAND

Rolling down like the hills over the past few months has been the placement of my pain. Written of time and time again but only this time fear kept my expressions from being made, while the frustrations in my mind baffled me. Literally keeping me from finding thought and seeking solution, this funk…Like a skunk it smell stunk..Its putrid smell creeped into the nostrils of my heart in the crevasses of my coronary arteries, my passions seemed so crippled and my vision seemed to be fading, fading, fading in and out. Fading like the exhausted jabs of a boxer before..Ding ding ding… 1 , 2, 3, count you have just been knocked out. Only like the victorious one (the boxer that won!)  I mumbled, I stumbled around the ring hypothetically with my lip being bloodied and my eye being black….I stood there, there I stood to take a deep breath in, then another breath out…hhhhhh. Sweat tricking down sensations senses being sensed depression knocking at my door like bill collectors. Broken hearted, broken spirit just strait up broken numbness to the point of beyond any internal feeling, so badly damaged, depression and despair ravished my soul. Like the boxer in the ring, literally eyes gazed over saying “Lord, just help me stand.” This, the only thing left to do, seeing as how pain was inevitable the only thing was to except my pain, take the punches …and as 1 came then 2 came..Like the smart boxer watching my opponents tendencies resting my mind body and soul, falling to my knees asking for deliverance, pleading for restoration of my mind..Renewing of my soul. The proposition to God my father I made and like that my perspective changed. Life a new blew through the valleys of my mind, and like the boxer in the ring my vision renewed. While blood dripping from my brown I realized in my stands, in my desire to stay standing to stay on my feet no matter what blow may be…I realized, I just had to hold on ..Standing, standing, standing…I cocked back at my opponent, and my “goliath” fails down. How, I do not know  …see my eyes were closed and my own sight was no longer what I leaned on but HIS.  I just know like the victor like the boxer in the ring, like a tree deeply planted into the word of God…HERE I AM..STILL STANDING!

Galatians 6:9 

9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Sometimes in life or any process of weight loss we hit a stomp..We hit a valley. But I encourage every human being trying to lose weight (and lets realize this is not just physical) to hold on through your trails and smile during your tribulations. Your pain will not last forever it won’t ever last long. But the thing about pain is that it has a best friend named victory! So don’t be discouraged and don’t give up…be like the little engine that could..Be like the little engine that would. This is what I have to tell myself after being on my journey of REAL WEIGHT LOSS for 180 days. I am so ready to stop, ready to see my body change, ready to reach my goals physically..But sometimes it seems in this process I am my own worst enemy. So until I get this right, until I drop this weight, until the vision of REAL WEIGHT LOSS has become complete I will continue with PERSEVERANCE it is what carries me.

Today’s weight: 144                 Goal: 137

STILL STANDING !

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on March 24, 2011 by V-Leno
 
 

Be Un-Conqurable

 

Written time and time again: final draft March 23, 2011

I have been carried for 136 DAYS and counting and I AM STILL STANDING!

Despair was my best friend; happiness seemed to be my enemy. My story of trail and triumph had hit a screeching halt. My faith was tested. My heart was weary, and my body felt faint. In all this HE kept me, and keeps me still. When I think and try to explain this past three weeks there is no imaginable word I can think to place on it, no possible silhouette to outline the mess in which I was in. But you know what , I can say, “ I AM STILL STANDING.” My sanity has been tested; yes I have been broken down beyond depression into a state of numbness and confusion. Allusion, tears, and anything that has to do with not having a single clue tied me down almost destroying me…but, I AM STILL STANDING. First my car broke on me, and then I realized my lack of responsibility engulfed me leaving me with unpaid speeding tickets and an invalid id. Not to mention the enemy like a lion chastised me day and night, in and out, but I am here and I am saying…I hope you see…I AM STILL STANDING. I AM STILL STANDING though my legs wanted to buckle beneath me while my world seemed to be in a whirlwind..HERE I STILL STAND.. in all this I WILL PRAISE YOU. If I must go through the storm, the trials and tribulations if I am going through this with you LORD then I AM GOING THROUGH IT…. Meaning the hole my enemies conspire to dig for me even the hole I have dug for myself, Well Lord you see and have seen my hole and YOU said “This is nothing but a tunnel”  You said and say, STAND UP! So here I am still standing though while in the fiery furnace I cried, you saw me and cared an I AM and I AM STILL STANDING. You drug me out like a soldier in the trenches of war and peril. My fox hole was closing in, but you saw my tunnel and spoke to the walls those walls. Walls of my own stupidity, immaturity, and irresponsibility, you saw but still you cared for me. You carried me out! Now I say thank you LORD I AM STILL STANDING!

#REAL WEIGHT LOSS

Real weight loss goes beyond physical weight, beyond mere vanity. In this process of weight loss I have realized a testimony is being developed and a story is being written. When you go do the gym for whatever fitness goal you may have, however hard you work at attaining that goal realize in life we must do the same. There is a connection to it all and the author of that connection is God. Realize in your process of weight loss more than physical weight will be lifted. Those issues of life stand waiting also to be dropped. The question is WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH YOUR WEIGHT…?

I WILL DROP MINE!

Even when growing up producing growing pains and the rain comes in a storm

#REAL WEIGHT LOSS

Motivation Please:

1 Corinthians 13:11 (King James Version)

 11When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

TIME TO GROW THY BUTT UP!! 

THE WORKOUT

Lemons out of lemonade

Running to the gym! Back pack…Check….shoes…..check….FAITH YES SIR!

Morning Sprints (Good for burning fat- anaerobic exercise)

7 sprints 10.5 speed increments

Pushups 15

Pull ups 5

Repeat push up pull up 3 times

2 mile BACK PACK RUN..shoes..check….back….check…REAL WEIGHT LOSS….A MUST!

35 minute cross-fit workout @ Flex studios 😉

Walk/ run back home

Through the Fire #REAL WEIGHT LOSS

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on February 18, 2011 by V-Leno

DATE: February 16, 2011

I will begin with a scripture. I have been through the Fire.

Psalm 40:2-4 (New International Version, ©2010)

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
   out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
   and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
   a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the LORD
   and put their trust in him.

4 Blessed is the one
   who trusts in the LORD,
who does not look to the proud,
   to those who turn aside to false gods.[a]

PLEASE CONTINUE READING (written about February 7, 2011)

DATE: February 16, 2011

 CLIFFS OF WEIGHT LOSS

What do you do when your back is against the wall, when each literal breath is a gasp or quenching for air, your pockets seem to squeeze you tight but, I said but, please do understand that is indeed when you know your break through is coming…And no, it will not simply be any particular break through. I wonder do you think in weight loss the road is rough to tickle your fancy. Do you not realize that in these moments the deepest darkest moments when, let me just say, I am tired, my hope is splitting at the seam, mashed like squished peas but please believe I FEEL and I REALIZE that I WILL RISE. These weights of impossibilities taunt me. As a strong warrior the Cherokee blood that rises and boils deep down inside of me, that slave ancestry that made it through the shackles and oppression, that made it through, they lifted every weight. The same God that moved them and somehow pulled them through, I feel HIM pulling me through. I know I WILL RISE. Like the stars so elevated no limit to infinity you see this is where the dreams aspirations and goals that he has given me will RISE. These weights that at the moment arrest my pocket book, they are nothing but a test. At your most uncomfortable moments in your process of weight loss I ask you where you will stand.  I will RISE, that is the only option for me. Why do I say this?  Let me explain, tonight my hope like the retched cold that causes my fingers pain, this cold blows on me….but it is what you do, it is what I do in these moments that determine the journey. In my journey my choice is to RISE. I WILL RISE. Your choice is your own but, understand to allow any weights to continually inhibit your footsteps on your journey inhibit your path.  In that moment your journey has ended. RISE, like that mythical creature of imagination rise like the phoenix. Blaze your trail. I WILL and SHALL RISE to blaze mine. Nights like this, when I turn to the right, depression and defeat meet me and to the left stands victory with only GOD’S help, with only His help I will chose to RISE, I will RISE. ..

Be UnConqurable

 

#REAL WEIGHT LOSS

MY Workout

4:00 a.m.

2 mile Run

This is a workout that I did the same day I named it VICTORY. Done later on around 2:00

 20 Box jumps

 16 Incline pushup

20 split jumps on box

16 Decline pushups

20 Squats with overhead press

I repeated 3 times

Time: 24 minutes

Let’s Go Drop that weight

 

My Journey (Strength Inside)!!

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on January 22, 2011 by V-Leno

Be Un-conqurable

A reflection of my condition (Sunday Jan. 17, 2010)

Tonight I thank God, I spoke with my mom and she gave some encouraging words. This past Sunday I felt like all my anxiety and worrying collided like two football players on a football field. Mountains of worry grew, to my surprise, until like a volcano they seemed to explode and surface. The face of this volcano was rather interesting… I realize what the problem was…or shall I say where the problem lay festering. Like the mix of bubbling soup, the problem lay festering in my soul. Resent letters, you know those scary letters, those reminders of college loans and shopping sprees. Those friendly reminders of “You are now an educated woman, pay me please… “Yes those things, those retched things. I have never worried before, but like never before my worrying sunk me. It sunk me like the titanic that day, but in me I did not realize, or rather I realized but did not see.  It was like I was in a steamy restroom unable to see my reflection do to the heat and fog from hot vapor; all I had to do was open the door.  There stood a solution to my steamed filled room and haze filled mind. I wonder now, “did it have to do with the gloominess of the previous days, or the gloominess of my present ways?” ways of lost trust and forgotten hope possibly?   The combination of these two words brought me down like raging winds. They howled and beat me, and then I realized, in this storm, I realized …I WAS ALIVE… These weights of anxiety had my hands bound, literally strapped me to the table as if I was being executed like a 17th century thief. For a while they ensnared me, but the heart of a lion resides deep down inside of me. In all this mess one thing I realized was that I was on my knees…  When I realized that, I realized I was ALIVE…There is no better place to be for me than on my knees…Understand that If I am down there, regardless of the situation, I am praying to a God that says he will rescue me…I am praying to a God that says I am your ever present help in the time of need…I am praying to a God that says seek my face earnestly and surely I shall rescues the..I am praying to a GOD that says little child rely in me. I am praying to a God that calls me and sees me as joint heir with Christ and will always meet me at my need.

ON MY KNEES I remembered THIS…

James 1:2-4 (New International Version)

Trials and Temptations

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

 And like that… I rose. Like Dr. King’s I have a dream speech moved millions, my vision was restored, and I was moved by the millions. The one who created Dr. King created me and engulfed, enveloped that same potential to be, as Dr. King… All this he has placed in me, I just had to realize it. There is nothing wrong with being down and depressed, ravished beaten, and broken down to your knees…

Why?.. When you are down there, or when I am, I am praying my weapon is being utilized and God tells me there is power in prayer. Like the power seen from Jesus praying to the Father in Gethsemane.  I go bowing down to my knees happy or sad.  When I lose hope, when I feel weak and my knees begin to buck , I cry out and I know in all this God you have a plan for me.. When I am being broken down my frame work is being built up with your cornerstone. The heavier the weight the stronger I get, the longer the road traveled the further down the road of REAL Weight LOSS I GO!!

  My WORKOUT on January 18, 2010

Ran 2 miles

5 sets of 20 push-ups

5 sets of 20 rows

(LIGHT day) Disciplined workouts to come

On Tuesday January 19, 2010

Went to Flex and did CROSSFIT- I LOVE IT

During this workout I got tired, my body faded in and out. I wanted to quit I held firm. I looked up, dug deep and transformed. Nothing and no one was going to stop Me.! I remembered “I can do all things through Christ who strengthened ME! I applied that verse and heaved those weights. I beasted them, from right to left, from front to back, I moved them! With all imaginable intensity, I visualized no impossibility …and I GOT IT DONE!!!

I WILL DROP THIS WEIGHT …..WILL YOU ?

50 pull ups that day

Front squats weight = heavy

Box jumps

And Insanity which equals MORE FUN FOR ME…!!

DROP THAT WEIGHT!

REAL WEIGHT LOSS “We Drop WEIGHTS”

 

Help in THIS Process of Weight LOSS

Posted in The Beginning of My WEIGHT LOSS Process on January 15, 2011 by V-Leno

Be Un-conqurable

My personal prayer for Help with these WEIGHTS

“I am His and He is mine, It does not matter what I did”

Dear God…I love you,

Dear Lord thank YOU for being so awesome

I am a sinner I have failed you time and time again, so I wonder, actually I thank You,

You saved me, You kept me

So keep me, Help me to say what is on my heart

Anoint my hands and my mouth

Help me to help people

Lord I need to lose all these “weights”

But You are the only one I can give this to

This may seem simple, but this is my heart

 I want you,

Help me live for you,

I know you have a plan for me

Help me walk in it

But first help me drop these weights completely

Both physically and emotionally

Dear LORD I have PROBLEMS but YOU have SOLUTIONs

I have Bondage but you have the KEY to these CHAINS these weights deep down inside of me

I have WEIGHT, but you have WEIGHT loss

Real FREEDOM for ME

Thank you FOR Saving ME.

Daily you save me. IF not this moment than the next,

In Short YOU SAVED me, I HURT You, You LOVED

I looked FOR you in all the wrong PLACES and YOU still managed to find me

Thank you GOD…

FOR this process of WEIGHT loss

This Is, you ARE THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED to me

My every breath, You fill me to the depths

Your LOVE loves me

No more weights, this affliction I can drop…

Sincerely,

silence

I have just been moved myself………..

My God has restored me

My motivation

Psalm 51:12 (New International Version, ©2010)

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
   and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

   

Let me please just explain to you what has happened these past few weeks. I gained weight over the break, leaving me down and out. Discouragement eluded me but then I realized, I looked deep inside of me. I saw the situation clearly, simply struggling with “weights” in which I had lost, painstakingly subconsciously stacking them back up. Like a kid in a candy store whose mouth was already adorned with braces but wanting more candy, wanting more things that would cause me “dental surgery”, only this is “open heart” surgery. In my mind for 2-3 weeks weights of a past relationship depressed me internally, not extremely but never the less they prohibited me and inhibited real weight gain. No coincidence is it that I physically gained weight while emotionally I scooped up inside of me issues that teased me, fighting to go back to that past reality…

#Real weight Loss